


Talk shit, get (metaphorically) hit

by AgapantoBlu



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Just idiots running their mouths, M/M, Mayuyu tells them, Not really homophobia nor sexism, Presence of some people talking shit, but don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:31:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgapantoBlu/pseuds/AgapantoBlu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mayuzumi does not know how Reo managed to drag him around after an accidental meeting, but now that he's stuck waiting with some idiots running their mouths there's no way he's keeping his shut.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Sexual Revelation knocks at his brain's door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk shit, get (metaphorically) hit

**Author's Note:**

> There's not enough MayuMibu in this fandom and I'm gonna work on that.

 

**_Talk shit, get (metaphorically) hit_ **

 

He must have done something, probably in his past life, to deserve this. 

There was absolutely no other option, thus Mayuzumi spent all the —  _considerable_  — time with his back against the stripe of wall in between one changing stall and the other, frowning as deeply as he could, with his arms crossed, trying to remember what it was. If he found that out, maybe he could make amend and being spared a re-play of this agony.

That funniest — read: most annoying — thing was, he had no idea how he ended up in the changing room of a clothing shop waiting for Reo to come up with the umpteenth set of clothes. Really, he had just ventured outside his dear room in his dear college to buy a notebook, a stupid notebook for a stupid lesson, and then… He wasn’t sure, his memories were kind of confused. 

He was almost sure Mibuchi caught sight of him somehow — fuck his misdirection, never working when he needed it to — and then talked his brain to pieces before dragging him along in his shopping sprout. Why he wasn’t yet walking out the main door and standing the other up was something he himself didn’t know.

As he caught sight of Reo, in the little opening left between the curtain and the wall of the stall — and he wasn’t peeping okay?!, it just happened to be in front of him right now! —, taking off the shirt he had just tried on without even coming out to show it to him, he snorted.

Yeah, why wasn’t he leaving already?

“God, he’s still in?!”

“I know, right? What a pussy.”

“I’d rather a pussy than a dick, what if he’s jerking off to the female clothes he picked? Disgusting.”

Oh, right.

He made a point to turn his head and glare, with his dirty look that had been practiced on the Emperor himself, to the group of four people hanging just a few meters from them, in front of another changing stall where a fifth girl was trying something on. There were two guys and two girls and while one of the boys seemed extremely uncomfortable with his friends’ attitude, the other three wouldn’t stop sending glares in their direction.

Mayuzumi was pretty sure Reo couldn’t hear them from inside and above the sound of his low-key humming, but he was also pretty sure he hadn’t been noticed because his glare did nothing as the three assholes kept on muttering under their breaths.

He was honestly losing his patience, and coming from someone like him who rarely gave a fuck about other people’s opinion that meant something.

A rustle of cloths made him turn toward the stall.

And turn immediately again when he accidentally peeked — same little opening from before, he wasn’t doing it on purpose! — on Reo bent ninety degrees as he slipped his long legs into a pair of white shorts. 

Now, Mayuzumi wasn’t exactly gay, but he wasn’t exactly straight either. Truth was, he had never been interested in anyone in 3D before and so his sexuality was just something he had never bothered with. But someone must have been blind or severely brain damaged not to see Mibuchi’s beauty. Hell, how many times had Akashi glared down some teammates that had been staring at him a bit too much in the showers or in the locker room? And they were all straight from what he knew.

Honestly, Reo’s ability to turn straight men gay was a force to be reckon with.

Mayuzumi didn’t even want to know how he looked in those shorts, he wasn’t sure he was ready to explore his sexuality in a stupid shop. He just wanted to grab his notebook and go back to his room.

“Come on, no, that’s enough.”

“Chill out, dude!” Mayuzumi focused his attention back on the group and frowned when he noticed one of the girls approaching them, much to her only decent friend’s horror. “I’m just going to ask him if he’s done playing, he’s getting on my nerves!”

“He’s not playing.”

The girl, much to Chihiro’s delight, shrieked as she turned back to him, ember eyes wide open as she finally realized they weren’t alone. The Decent Kid looked even more horrified now, but Mayuzumi felt little sympathy for someone who wouldn’t act on his beliefs just because they’d be against the group. As a professional outcast and the greatest anti-flattery expert in the world, he was entitled to do so.

Thus, he stared down at the girl as he left his spot to walk the two steps left between them. He honestly didn’t think Reo would let some asshole’s bullshit tear him down, he was too strong willed for that, but he seemed to be having a good time, unlike him. And calling out on people’s idiocy had always been what Chihiro was the best at.

“He’s not playing,” he repeated as he finally stood tall in front of the brown-haired girl, staring down on her with his most apathetic-with-a-touch-of-disgusted expression. “And even if he were, he’d rock all those female clothes better than you anyway, so why don’t you just admit you’re scared of the comparison and shut the fuck up?”

The girl gaped. Her friends behind her seemed frozen on the spot, clearly unsure of how to react; the second and third girl, fresh out of the changing stall, had the decency to look guilty, while Decent Guy seemed relieved that someone else had come to do what he didn’t have the guts to.

_Idiots._ That was turning into an even huger waste of time.

“You…!  He…!” Mayuzumi looked back down when the girl in front of him started sputtering. “He’s a man!”

Chihiro arched a brow at the stupid declaration.

“Yeah, and you’re fat,” he replied. 

She wasn’t, absolutely so, but Reo wasn’t a pervert either, yet they had no problems calling him that before. And Mayuzumi sure as Hell wasn’t polite.

The girl turned all the shades of red one could imagine, settling down in the end on a shade that made Chihiro immediately think about Ringo-tan’s ribbons, but before she could say anything a little sound of flipping cloth made them both look behind Mayuzumi.

“I’m not sure,” Reo was muttering, a displeased expression on his face as he stared down at his own body. He had on one of the tops he had picked earlier, a black crop top with a green rose painted on in some kind of tribal stile, and the infamous white shorts. Mayuzumi could hear his Sexuality Revelation knocking at the door of his brain. “Maybe they’re a bit too short…”

They most definitely weren’t for any normal standard, but Mayuzumi felt the urge to say that,  _yes_ , they were, he needed to take them off now, here, and he could help if Reo needed a hand or two.

Sexuality Revelation had settled comfortably on a couch in between his temporal and occipital lobe and was now pointing at all the things that made Mibuchi’s body ten times hotter than the one of any real-life girl he had ever seen.  _Possibly_  even of all the Light Novel ones, but Mayuzumi retained judgement about that.

“No,” he forced himself to say, turning and walking back to the other guy as if the girl wasn’t even there anymore. “They’re okay.”

And she could have easily disappeared for how Reo’s presence completely outshone her. He made Misdirection Overflow look like a child’s trick.

Mibuchi chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he adjusted the sleeves to reveal his collarbone just enough, not too much though. 

_Not enough!_ , Sexuality Revelation shouted in Mayuzumi’s brain.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure Sei-chan would scrunch his nose at such a revealing outfit.” It was a clear joke at Mayuzumi’s expenses, but the man allowed himself to take the bait and rolled his eyes.

“All the more reason to buy them. Even better, let me get a pair myself.”

Reo’s eyes sparkled. “Really?”

They were emerald, deep like a forest’s green and bright like waterfall drops all over tropical plants, beautiful, fresh and…

“No.”

“Hey!”

Mayuzumi shook his head as he watched Reo getting back into the cabin, and his heart cried a bit at the sight of the pile of clothes still to be tried, but all the same he moved back to his original spot and laid against the wall, arms crossed. Only then, by the corner of his eye, he spied on the group of idiots. 

He almost smirked when he saw they were hastily collecting their things and all they had tried and, when they had to pass in front of him to leave, he made sure to meet the glare of the girl he had clashed with. She seemed to try to kill him with her glare, but he answered with just as much vitriol.

“Mayuzumi-san?”

He snorted, abandoning the competition and allowing the girl to vanish with her other friends, and turned. Reo’s head was popping from the curtains, his hand holding it and closing the hole Mayuzumi’s ethics had battled so hard against just a moment before.

He took the time he needed to get closer to the stall to mourn the loss.

“What?” he finally ask, staring at the smiling face of the guy in front of him and trying not to focus on the slightly ruffled hair that hinted that he had already pulled the shirt off and was probably bare-chested in there.

_Oh, come on, Chihiro! Like you haven’t seen him half naked for two years in school!_

Yeah, but that had been an year ago. Reo had grown even hotten since then.

_Liar._

He blinked when a hand grabbed the shirt on his chest and by the time he was focusing again on the scene in front of him, that consisted in Reo’s closed eyes barely an inch from his.

Sexuality Revelation made a point to let him know there wasn’t even the tiniest distance between their lips, instead, and that it was called  _kissing_.

Reo was kissing him.

It took him so long to elaborate that Mibuchi finished and pulled back, just to smile brightly at him.

“Thank you,” he said, and Chihiro was pretty sure he knew what for.

He wanted to say he had thought the other hadn’t heard, but he didn’t make it before Reo vanished again inside his den, most definitely to not resurface again for the next twenty minutes at least.

Mayuzumi groaned slamming his forehead against the piece of wall in between that stall and the one beside it and his pain came accompanied by Mibuchi’s gentle laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, I had cravings for MayuMibu and thought writing this at midnight was a good idea. Cool.
> 
> But I Regret Nothing.


End file.
